Scarywood

I’m riding a roller coaster in the dark. Not just any roller coaster, but Silverwood’s Aftershock. Standing at nearly 200 feet, the Idaho theme park’s newest extreme ride is drawing me up into the sky, backwards, and then repeatedly slams me back toward Earth as if intent on ramming me straight into Hell.

The G-forces have me pinned to the back of my seat, and the cold temperatures of October wind up my nose and prop my mouth wide open. My cheeks are now up near my temples, the icy air pushing against my face, and I think that if it pushes any harder it just might rip my face clean off.

That’s why I’m here, though, right?

By design, Halloween attractions should ellicit screams of terror. No surprise, then, that while approaching the entrance of the Terror Canyon Walking Trail (in the summer known as Thunder Canyon), I find myself dodging a group of howling teenage girls holding out their Juicy Couture purses like spears and fending off zombies.

One zombie crawls toward me and I’m silent. He doesn’t scare me, though he’s doing a pretty awesome impression of an undead person. I half-grin, step over him and move on.

I haven’t been to a haunted house in long time that’s gotten anything more from me than an apathetic chuckle. I was about to say R.I.P. to Halloween attractions for good until I heard about Scarywood.

“We went and visited several theme parks that offer haunted attractions across the country. Then we started to put it all together, and now it’s here and it’s been a huge success!” Nancy DiGiammarco of Silverwood says.

So they’ve done their research. But can they make a sniveling schoolgirl out of me? I have my doubts. After all, I do work in the dying world of print journalism.

I follow the dark trail normally filled with water and round rafts brimming with bouncing guests, when something or someone jumps out of a corner. With a knee-jerk reaction, I take my camera and start shooting pictures at it. Suddenly the ghoul-cloaked man in the corner screams, “Ouch, the flash!”

Farther in, a knife-wielding little person runs after me. Chucky. His costume is so good that I start to laugh and wander on.

The Terror Canyon Walking Trail twists and turns with freaks and frights at every corner. An unexpected and entertaining walk. Still, it doesn’t get a scream from me.

On the way to the Steam Engine No. 7 train that’s been transformed into the MidFRIGHT Express, a still scarecrow jumps out at me as a group of teenage boys run past yelling that they weren’t scared.

As the train’s engine revs up, a demon voice murmurs over a loud speaker: “The time for departure draws ever closer. This is your last chance. Will you stay and take this train to the bowels of the netherworld, or will you run screaming back to Mama?”

Explosions, flashing lights and banshees flicker in the shadows as the Express chugs through murky woods. The train stops, and from the back, a clown-like zombie jumps on and snarls. Those teenage boys from the scarecrow jump, and a grown man backs away in terror. Now I’m laughing. My knees buckle and I’m in throes on the back of the train. I’m screaming now.

Screaming for my mommy. I’m riding a train in the dark and I’m laughing my face off. (TAMMY MARSHALL)

Scarywood at Silverwood Theme Park, 27843 N. Hwy 95, from Friday, Oct. 30-Saturday, Oct. 31 at 6:30 pm: Tickets: $27.49. Includes rides, Terror Canyon Trail and MidFRIGHT Express. Visit www.scarywoodthemepark.com or call (208) 683-3400.

Amaizing Corn Maze

The most valuable intel for any Halloween is to map out which houses are handing out the full-size candy bars — or shots of whiskey.

This story isn’t going to spill any of those beans, but if you want some fun places to scare the pants off your kids, you’re in the right place.

Seek out the AMAIZING CORN MAZE, on Beck Road just south of Highway 53 (Trent) or just north of Stateline Speedway. (Maps and other info at kix961.com. Click on the events tab, then on “Corn Maze.”)

Ronell Bracy says the three-mazes-in-one setup covers 12 acres. This year’s theme is dinosaurs. Kids can weave through the maze to find 18 posts with different shapes and match them to a punch card to be eligible for a prize.

The one-acre haunted maze where you will be (Oh, I can’t stop myself) stalked by zombies and freaks is separate and costs extra. Tickets range from $5 to $8, hours are 4-11 pm Friday, 10 am-11 pm Saturday, noon to 5 Sunday. Prices go up to “haunted” levels at 5 pm.

Not so scary: Tekoa’s notorious HAUNTED HOUSE has a toned-down version (more lights, less lunging) on Halloween from 1-4 pm. $3. Info at www.freewebs.com/tekoahaunt.

Dress-up time: TRUNK OR TREAT, where costumes and treats are in trunks of decorated cars. It’s at Boys and Girls Club, 544 W. Providence Ave., on Oct. 30 at 7:30 pm. Free. Call 489-0741.

A little more scary: Silverwood has transformed its water features and train into TERROR CANYON WALKING TRAIL and the MidFright express. (KEVIN TAYLOR)

Rocky Horror Picture Show

I like things consequence-free. Activities, events, friendships, agreements — every kind of engagement that allows me to screw up without a lot of grief. It’s the reason I like Halloween. What other holiday lets you dress like a jackass without caring?

Drink like a fish? Eat sugar recklessly? Seeing Rocky Horror on Halloween at the Garland Theater is basically a one-two punch of fun for screwballs like me. If you’re a Rocky Horror virgin, here’s what you’re in for at a theater-screening of the 1975 British comedy: singing, dancing, Tourette’s-style shouting, swearing, slutty costumes, dudes in drag. At a Rocky show, no one cares who you are or how loud you talk during the film. It’s consequence-free. And that’s awesome. (LEAH SOTTILE)

Rocky Horror plays on Oct. 31 at midnight at the Garland. Tickets: $3.50. Call 327-2509.

Trick or Vote

If a rubber-faced Richard Nixon comes back from the dead to knock on your door this Halloween, he might be after something other than candy.

This Saturday, the Washington Bus Project and Eastern Washington Progress initiates Spokane into the spookily wonky “Trick or Vote,” a nationwide get-out-the-vote canvas that will not only remind voters to turn in their ballots, but to approve Referendum 71 and reject Initiative 1033.

Anyone can take part, and it goes a little something like this: Progressive-types will dress up in their most blood-curdling outfits and try to win people over by making them think they’re harmless trick-or-treaters. After the initial shock, most people will be relieved to find out that the adult-sized Batman standing on their stoop doesn’t want candy, just political chat. OK, maybe some candy, too. (NICHOLAS DESHAIS)

To Trick or Vote, meet at 3 pm on Halloween for canvassing training at the Community Building Warehouse, 17 W. Main Ave.

Pavilion of Horrors

In post-apocalyptic Spokane, Riverfront Park has become infested by insects and ghouls. They’re oozing and crawling about, lurking behind every bend. It’s imperative that you navigate this maze of horror to rescue our fine city from the clutches of evil, but it won’t be easy. The ghouls have many tests for you: you must pass through the halls of a haunted house unscathed, endure the Scream Machine and finally — the most harrowing trial of them all — a round of miniature golf among the lurking shadows of doom. (ERIKA PRINS)


Riverfront Fright is at the Riverfront Park Pavilion, Thursday from 7-10 pm and Friday and Saturday from 7 pm-midnight. Tickets for all three activities: $10; $8, children. Haunted house only: $8; $6, children.

Haunted Mansion

Just about every type of entertainment will be on display at the Haunted Mansion Halloween Party. The lineup features live music from Civilized Animal, Cassie Correlle, Java Kila, and Beatle’s tribute band Revolver, plus multiple comedians and DJs. With two rooms and a full bar, this is sure to be quite the shindig. Someone will even walk away with a cool grand as the prize for best costume. The event is a benefit for Tim’s Wheelchair Lift Fund, which provides wheelchair accessible vans to families in need. (SETH SOMMERFELD)

Join the Haunted Mansion Halloween Party at Lincoln Center on Saturday, Oct. 31, at 7 pm. Tickets: $10; $15, at the door. 21+. Call 327-8000.

Final Destinations

BLOOD, BOOZE AND BURLESQUE A Halloween-themed theatrical dance event with the Pasties and Paddles crew will take place on Friday-Saturday, Oct. 30-31 at 10 pm. Cost: $10. Lion’s Lair, 205 W. Riverside Ave. Call: 456-5678

CREEPY HALLOW Trek to the haunted village if you dare on Friday-Saturday, Oct. 30-31, from 7 pm-midnight. NWRF, 6493 Hwy 291, Nine Mile Falls, Wash. www.nwrf.net Call: 276-7728

HAUNTED POOL See what’s lurking in the locker rooms and what is waiting to petrify you on the pool deck on Friday, Oct. 30, from 7:30-10:30 pm. Cost: $3. Valley Mission Pool, 11123 E. Mission Ave. E-mail: scampbell@spokanevalley.org

MIRA-BOO ROCKIN’S HALLOWEEN PARTY Max Daniels will perform while you don a costume and dance on Saturday, Oct. 31, from 9 pm-1 am. Cost: $2. Room rates $69 with costumes. Mirabeau Park Hotel, 1100 N. Sullivan Rd. Call: 924-9000

SAFE HALLOWEEN A Halloween party for kids will be on Saturday, Oct. 31, from 6-8 pm. Free. First Church of the Nazarene, 9004 N. Country Homes Blvd. Call: 467-8986

SCARY FILMS AT MIDNIGHT How can you top a movie about Nazi zombies? You just can’t. Dead Snow will show on Friday, Oct. 30, at midnight. The Rocky Horror Picture Show will show on Saturday, Oct. 31, at midnight. The Garland, 924 W. Garland Ave. www.garlandtheater.com Call: 327-2509

THE CURSE OF PIRATES ISLAND: A HAUNTED ADVENTURE Beware of the pirates on Thursday, Oct. 29, from 6-10 pm; and on Friday-Saturday, Oct. 30-31, from 6-11 pm.  Tickets: $8; $6, youth 12 and younger. Kootenai County Fairgrounds, 4060 N. Government Way, Post Falls Call: 208-765-4969

MONSTER’S BALL Spokane’s swingingest Halloween bash, featuring a giant dance floor and the band 6-Foot Swing, will be on Friday, Oct. 30, from 8 pm-1 am. Cost: $30; $25, students. All-ages. Includes appetizers. Masonic Center, Commandery Room, 1108 W. Riverside Ave. Call: 475-5385