The Hallmark Channel has been flooding the zone with new Christmas movies since October, so your pumpkin-spiced numbness to the holiday season is justified. But, there are a few recent and yet-to-be-released movies that break from the Hallmark Industrial Complex norms of holiday flicks. If none of these put you in the Yuletide spirit, just stream The Hebrew Hammer on a perpetual loop.
HOT FROSTY (NETFLIX)
It's already been scorching the viral zeitgeist for a couple of weeks now, but Hot Frosty (no relation) warrants a shout-out here. When widowed Kathy (Queen of Christmas Lacey Chabert) wraps a scarf around a hunky snow sculpture, he magically transforms into flesh-and-blood-and-six-packed Jack (Dustin Milligan, Schitt's Creek). Kathy and the town of Hope Springs (good one) love Jack, while Netflix scores a #HotFrosty moment: "This movie is terrible. I love it."
THE MERRY GENTLEMEN (NETFLIX)
Former Broadway dancer Ashley (Britt Robertson) stages a Christmas-themed dance revue to save her parents' struggling bar, The Rhythm Room. The rub? It's a sexy, all-male bump-and-grind show — The Full Monty, minus the Monties. In two shakes of the jingle bells, Ashley falls for dancer Luke (Chad Michael Murray), who has the moves of Magic Mike and the hair of a sentient Ken doll. Romance aside, how is a bar named The Rhythm Room not already a strip club?
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS IN WONDERLAND (HULU, PRIME)
Mashing up The Night Before Christmas and Alice in Wonderland, The Night Before Christmas in Wonderland also features purposefully janky animation and the voice of Gerard Butler as a rapping St. Nick. Throw in Emilia Clarke as a decapitation-obsessed Queen of Hearts who routinely comments on all of this nonsense, and you have a Christmas movie that, like Joker: Folie a Deux, might someday be hailed as a classic. Or not.
DEAR SANTA (PARAMOUNT+)
When a young boy inks a typo on his Christmas wish list to the North Pole, his letter ends up in the mailbox of Satan (Jack Black). Not to accuse the Farrelly Brothers of poaching a plot, but this hews eerily close to the 2020 Syfy movie Letters to Satan Claus (don't bother looking for it; the Christmas Illuminati has vanished the flick). Anyway: Satan shows the kid a better time than Santa ever could, from shooting craps to meeting Post Malone (Posty himself). Children, take note.
OUR LITTLE SECRET (NETFLIX)
The Lohanissance continues with Lindsay Lohan's latest Netflix outing, Our Little Secret, a holiday rom-com that reunites her with Mean Girls co-star Tim Meadows (not much of a hook, but it'll do). Avery (Lohan) and her new boyfriend travel to his parent's home for Christmas, only to discover that her ex (Ian Harding) is also there because he's dating Avery's new beau's sister ... whew. Bonus points for introducing THC gummies into the holiday mix (they really do work).
CARRY-ON (NETFLIX; DEC. 13)
If you're the type that believes Die Hard is a Christmas movie (I'll even go so far as to say it's a Christmas musical, but that's a whole other thing), Carry-On might be for you. TSA agent Ethan (Taron Egerton) is blackmailed into letting a dangerous suitcase slip through security by a mysterious traveler (Jason Bateman, whose character is named The Mysterious Traveler). Carry-On director Jaume Collet-Serra also did Non-Stop and The Commuter; he knows tight-quarters action.
THE HOLIDAY JUNKIE (LIFETIME; DEC. 14)
No, it's not a Christmas-y sequel to Trainspotting. The Holiday Junkie is the misleading name of a small-town decorating and planning service owned by Andie (Jennifer Love Hewitt), who's now running the business solo after the death of her mother. Surprisingly, The Holiday Junkie is Hewitt's first-ever Christmas movie after years of watching her Party of Five co-star Lacey Chabert snag all the roles. Now, let's pitch Neve Campbell on that Trainspotting sequel. ♦
