I SAW YOU

Superwash Supergirl: I saw you at the best laundromat in Spokane; you taught me how to properly fold a fitted sheet and rescued my lone sock from the dryer a month or two ago. You recently dyed your hair Halloween colors and are always wearing something fun, I like your style. I'm usually sitting at the table near the ice cream freezer, reading or playing my switch. I'd love to buy you a coffee sometime. mason.jar.menagerie@gmail.com

Costco Cheesiness: I saw you at the new Northside Costco last Friday. It was a bit crazy but you held your cool effortlessly. I was really impressed by your helping others, kind words and taste in cheeses. Perhaps a shopping date is in our future?

Fall Flirting: Saw you at Siemers out at Greenbluff this Sunday. You were in a faded blue plaid shirt. I was in leopard print. We both remarked on how amazing it smelled: Fall leaves, cooking doughnuts and sausages, post rain. Thank you for helping me load that perfectly round but VERY heavy white pumpkin into my wagon. I think it'd be a fun place to have a date. What about you?

Apple Cup Preview: At Shadle Center 10/16, You saw me and let me cross through the spot you were pulling into. I noticed your WSU decal and asked if your car had been vandalized as you stepped out. You replied that you would've hit me on purpose if you saw my UW hoodie before you stopped. It was funny. Contact notaduckatleast@gmail.com to see what else we have in common.

CHEERS

Valley Carmax is AWESOME! Just wanted to give a quick shout out to the Carmax in the Valley! I bought a car from there recently and realized it wasn't what I wanted and the Carmax team (Sam in particular) went above and beyond to make things right. Not only that, but it was the best car buying I've ever had. Who knew that selling cars for what they're ACTUALLY worth would make the buying process infinitely better? Thanks guys!

Help at the airport: 10/17 I had a panic attack on Alaska air flight 2349 right before take off. The flight attendant, an attractive African American woman, held my baby while trying to keep me calm. Once off the plane the kindest woman (middle aged, blond hair I believe) walked me through all the steps of getting my belongings back, keeping my baby and me calm, and made exceptions to fully refund the flight. I only mention their appearances in the off chance this gets back to them so they know how much I appreciated them. A scary and mortifying experience was made so much better because of these two gracious women. I can't thank you both enough for caring for me and my baby during such a tough time.

JEERS

Corporate Greed: Jeers to KHQ channel 6/Cowles Corporation and DirecTV for their corporate greed and finger pointing to why DirecTV customers have not been able to watch this channel for several weeks. But, thank you to Northwest Broadcasting to finally setting their child-like financial battle with DirecTV and now allowing KAYU channel 28 back on the system.

Cure Spokane: Yes it's obvious that Spokane has changed and isn't as safe as it used to be. But the solutions that are being presented won't fix the problems! First of all moving the bus station underground will only reduce traffic and less homeless in that small area. The problem is city wide not just downtown. Then having more police is just going to create more violence and deaths since we know how our cops handle things. Have some compassion people. Building a bigger jail, increasing police, and building an underground bus station won't solve the issues. Instead let's use that money to create more rehabs, homeless housing, job opportunities, rehabilitation programs, train people to deal with uncooperative and unstable mentally ill people in a safe way rather then sending police every time.

Road Rage Grandpas: To all the older 60+ men who have flipped me off, cut me off, and slammed on their brakes in front of me while driving. First, I don't engage in road rage, as a 20 year old woman, I don't want to breathe my last breath while an older gramma aged man decides to degrade me and make me feel like trash on the road. Do you own the roads? Why are you in such a hurry to be two seconds ahead of me? I don't know. What I do know is why my parents grew up to be negligent and treat their kids as if they're unimportant. If you were their parents, I understand completely. So thanks Grandpa, I'd love it if you killed me on the road thanks to your pride. Or better yet make me feel undeserving of respect while you flip me off and scream profanities out your window for me going the speed limit on the freeway. Maybe you should reevaluate what matters to you, the future generations or your pride. I get some drivers are crazy, but I'm not one of them and no one should be treated like trash while driving. Especially by those who are supposed to be a safe place for a generation without parents.

Mi basura es tu basura: To the upstanding citizen who thinks it's OK to throw your garbage out your car window onto the street, because it's "biodegradable." Imagine everyone in this city (or any other city) taking the same stance. The icing on this cake was your apparent need to puff up your chest when I called you out on it - as if I somehow wronged you by returning YOUR garbage. Sure, I gently placed it on top of your car... but following your argument, "it's biodegradable"... so it'll break down eventually, right? Yet somehow, I'm the asshole? I get it - it's embarrassing. I guess I called your manhood into question? Scary to think that's all it takes to set you off. Well, here's an opportunity for you to be a real man - just own your mistake, and learn from it. Wait until you get home and throw the remnants of your McBurrito into YOUR OWN GARBAGE. Don't worry, your wife won't think any less of you for it ; )

It Takes a Village: Sunday afternoon, 10/13, when your kids told you they were playing at a friend's house, they were instead joyriding electric shopping carts, crashing into Halloween displays and narrowly avoiding shoppers. Just thought you'd want to know before your kids end up spending all your hard-earned paychecks on court costs, damages and medical bills. ♦

Broken Mic @ Neato Burrito

Wednesdays, 6:30 p.m.
  • or