I SAW YOU
HIT A HOME RUN: At the Indians game on June 21, as I was helping my residents get off the bus, I saw you wearing black shorts and a shirt sleeve black top walking behind me through the parking lot. I was wearing a Steelers shirt. Throughout the whole ballgame we would run into each other and say hello to each other. I thought you were gorgeous and wanted to talk to you, but I was working and had to stick to helping my residents. Would love to get to know you more and would love to cheer the Indians on with you sometime.BREAKFAST THX: We stood next to each other in the waiting area of the Cottage on the morning of July 4. You are the attractive, petite gal with two younger kids. After you left the servers told me that you had paid for my breakfast. Thank you! Hope to see you again so I can return the gesture and thank you in person
CRAVE BAR 7/7: You saw me, and came back inside to ask my name. I should have given you my number, but chickened out. You had a yellow vans hoodie.
EUROPEAN GRASS-FED BOVINE: You: Shopping with your dad (?) in Winco, Sunday, July 9, about 11 am, in a beige ball cap and shorts. Me: camo T-shirt, ponytail, and shopping with my sister. That brief visit with you in the dairy aisle was interesting and a great respite from the madding crowds. On the off chance you see this, I would welcome the opportunity to further flesh out the heightened quality of ice cream and butter in England and France, perchance something more.
CHEERS
TO THOSE WHO VALUE YOUR DIVORCED FRIENDS/FRIENDSHIPS: Cheers to those who value your divorced friends, enough to continue to see them as the individuals they are throughout their traumatic experience. Divorce is terrible and devastating. Every married couple hopes that it never happens to them, but sometimes it happens to people. And sometimes people actually come out happier from years of stressful pretending and doing everything they could to save it. Friends of divorced people... Please do not drop them. They need you. If you ever unfriended them because you think it somehow will affect your own marriage, then your thinking is shallow.
UV INDEX GOODWILL: Thank you to the kind fellas working the donation drive-thru on Fourth of July at the Northside Goodwill. You brightened an already very sunny day! One of the gentlemen informed me that the UV Index can be looked up online before heading out for the day. Just as you may check for rain, you can also check for just how much sunblock you may need. Thank you, kind sir. You are an ally to pale people everywhere!
KILLING IT SPOKANE: This city continues to amaze me! After the Lilac Festival, ArtFest and Pride, I am thankful to call Spokane home! The city organizers and volunteers deserve huge recognition for putting on these awesome events. We really live in a great city.
JEERS
LET THE WAR GAMES BEGIN: It started a few days before the Fourth of July in our Trumpy Coeur d'Alene neighborhood — random pop-pops that might have been sniper fire, prelude to the frenzy. On Independence Day night explosions erupted nonstop, rapid fire rat-a-tats followed by huge booms that shook windows. Is this what shelling sounds like in Ukraine? Thanks to Idaho's total lack of regulation on fireworks even in suburbia, local wannabe warriors played unrestrained with their matches and gunpowder. This year's private fireworks displays were by far the longest, loudest, most relentless ever, great practice for our well-armed man/boys when their longed-for civil war breaks out.
HOW MUCH ATTENTION DO YOU NEED? Loud cars, trucks, motorcycles... How much attention do you need? Try some therapy to figure out why you need so much perhaps. You're an embarrassment, and a public nuisance.
RE: GREEDY MUCH: Reading comprehension isn't really your thing, is it? While we're at it, that Walmart is within the city of Spokane, which has had 9 percent sales tax for quite some time. People need to pay more attention to details and their surroundings before they immediately start complaining about stupid stuff.
YOUR DOG IS HOT TOO! Really? It's 99-plus degrees out, and your dog has a coat on! Maybe you should try walking barefoot across that hot pavement all day with a coat on. It's not "cute," it's cruel.
SPEEDING FOOLS: Dear Spokane Fools: Many backroads that aren't paved have speed limits of 25 mph or less. When people are walking or running down the same said roads with no sidewalks, it's courteous to slow down so as to avoid spreading gravel dust all over them. To the a—hole who sped up the other day while I was running and then stuck his puny looking middle finger in the air. Get a real car. Yours is a real POS.
NEAR NATURE, NEAR THE FIRING SQUAD: Actions have consequences (karma). Enjoy your geese-free and tourist-free beaches and city. A cheap and unsustainable solution, uncivilized and without compassion. Oh well, they are just stupid animals (the City Council members that is). Geese facts: They mate for life and will stay with an injured partner until they heal or die. Animals have souls, too, despite whatever dogmatic beliefs you choose to justify your actions by. Destroying healthy life merely for your convenience is a crime against nature.
DEAR STUPID: Stupid People of Spokane: You know that lane on the south side of Upriver Drive along the Centennial Trail? That's called a trail, for runners or walkers or bikers. When you pass a driver on the right side, that's illegal. That's because people are walking or running or biking on it as you pass. I am one of those people. If you strike me with your car, my family will press charges against you for third-degree manslaughter. The trail isn't a personal passing zone for you, a—hole.
RE:SELFISH PRICKS: To the underinformed person calling their neighbors pricks for having landscaping work done at 7 am: Spokane has official, legal quiet hours, laid out clearly in our Municipal Code. Ten at night until seven in the morning. Gripe to the City Council, but leave your neighbors out of it.
COUNTER PRODUCTIVE VIRTUE SIGNALING: Spokane City Council's decision to make after-hours park use a misdemeanor will result in less enforcement and more trespass. Cops hate minor midemeanor arrests. Rather than write a citation, they have to arrest the suspect, process him, etc. Then, odds are the prosecutors will drop the charges because the expense of prosecution outweighs the benefit. A significant percentage of the blame for our problems with nuisance crimes should be set at the feet of our administrative bureaucrats, not the cops!
SYMPATHETIC WITH RECENT JEERS: As long as I can remember that stretch of beach has been occupied by geese. These City Council members "will do anything for their children." Anthropocentrism is the only rewarded attitude, and lives of geese only count when they are an accessory to it.
CAROUSEL FUN: I grew up in Spokane, and during summers my parents would take my sister and I to Nat Park. My favorite was the carousel. Riding with the breeze blowing your hair, the fun of catching rings and tossing them into the clowns mouth, such fun. What happened? The other day my husband and I went to enjoy the day at the park, which included the cherished ride. Imagine my surprise. The ride was shortened and much slower, and had an attendant who acted like they could care less about anyone and wouldn't open their mouth to utter two words. The joy in the experience was missing. Spokane needs to keep just a few things the way they were in this fast-growing city.
TO THE PERSON CHEERING: It's like you don't know when a song ends and were trying to cheer after every single verse at the Old Crow Medicine Show. Didn't ruin the experience but was definitely annoying.
RE:RE: VEHICLE REGISTRATION: I did some research before submitting my post. I also called the North Division Vehicle Licensing Office to confirm my post was correct. I was told that almost all new registered vehicles are issued two identical license plates and must be displayed on the front and back of the vehicle. Also, the Spokane Police Department is Exempt from licensing fees, and yet they display a front license plate? Collectors vehicles over 30 years old are also exempt. ♦
