I SAW YOU
NICHOLAS: I saw you for the first time a year ago at the Satellite. Been the best year of my life!!! Happy anniversary Baby! I hate you and you are the worst;) Jessie
VERTICALLY CHALLENGED CONCERT FANS: Let's have a talk. I am the tall guy at concerts whom you always ask to move. Yes, I see you giving me that look as if merely by standing here I've committed some terrible crime, as if suddenly I'm the villain of your night out. But here's the rub — I'm just trying to enjoy the show, like you! I get it, your view is obstructed. But let's be clear, it's not my fault that I'm tall. I didn't wander in front of you, you wandered in behind me. Yet here we are at every concert, with you tapping me on the shoulder to ask me to move as if I've wronged you personally. I never ask anyone to get something from the bottom shelf. But every time I go to the grocery store, I am the go-to for everyone to ask to reach things on the top shelf. I don't sneak up behind you and whisper, "Can you stretch just a little more?" No, I adjust. I adapt. Maybe you could do the same at concerts and leave me out of it!
YOU SAW ME
STAY IN POST FALLS: Me: Stranded Family of Seven with 5<10 near dusk at Johnson Park aka Mill River to apparently everyone else; You: Expectant Father who refused assistance, not once, twice. Brah, (idk if I can call you a Brah, I saw through your patchy first beard ever all the way to your glass jaw) we have to make sure everyone goes home to their families at the end of the day, I'm seriously disappointed in your lack of Civics. Therefore, on behalf of every Father and Operator, I hereby demand you shave your beard and surrender your man card to the nearest woman. P.S. It was the fob why it wouldn't start. For the Dads: If you hold the dead fob (that not even a fresh battery will resurrect) for a Honda to the ignition, it will start. P.PS. My garage door opener had the same 2032 lithium battery as the fob.
CHEERS
CHEERS TO DO-GOODERS: Enormous cheers to the folks that take the garbage up from the riverbanks of Peaceful Valley and bring it within reach (jurisdiction?) of the Parks Department. From those participating in organized cleanups to everyday visitors taking the time to haul that old mattress, bit of sodden/filthy carpet, shopping cart of soiled sleeping bags, and random trash left by those who would find a lovely spot to spend the day or night on the river and somehow choose to leave it worse than they found it. Thanks to you and everyone taking the time to be the change they want to see.ACCEPTING USED OIL: Cheers to the car parts stores that accept used oil from people who change their own car oil. This is a good example of corporate responsibility. Why would I buy car oil from a place that doesn't accept my used oil when I can support a place that does?
FAINTED @ FAMOUS FOOTWEAR: Cheers to the two ladies at the NorthTown Famous Footwear who helped a distressed ginger out. Your kindness was greatly appreciated. Turns out antibiotics & the sun doesn't mix. When your sweat is golf ball sized it's a good indicator you are about to hit the floor. The bruises are spectacular. I am well. Thanks again for your help and the cold waters. <3
KIND GRANDMA: Endless cheers and thank yous to the sweet grandma that helped me at the park after my glass Tupperware shattered. And cheers to the business that allowed her to borrow a broom and dustpan. I was already watching over four kids on my own, and you made a stressful situation a blessing of kindness and compassion.
UPPER CEMETERY FIRE: I want to say thank you to the firefighters that fought the Upper Cemetery Fire. The response was like nothing I have ever witnessed. My neighbors were outside cheering their precision flying and continous attacks on the fire that was threatening our homes. I felt the kind of pride and unity I feel when singing our National Anthem.
JEERS
IRRESPONSIBLE RABBIT OWNERS: To the idiots who have rabbits just off Addison between Olympic and Queen - and let them run loose on Addison early in the morning. It's bad enough that you don't care enough to confine them, you don't have the decency to pick up their bodies on Addison (since SCRAPS doesn't do rabbits). Shame on you.PETTY POLITICIANS: Recently, one of the leading candidates for Congress has begun a negative ad campaign against one of the contenders for the opposing party. She hasn't even been selected to be on the ballot yet. You WERE a promising candidate, now you just look bad, insecure and petty. Candidates, please please please take notice: WE THE PEOPLE, are done with the negativity! We want to elect officials who behave like adults, engage in civil discourse and treat others with respect and dignity no matter which side they are on. Please stop this kind of behavior and rhetoric. No one wants this. We won't vote for it. Start playing nice.
SHAME! RISKING EVERYONE'S HEALTH! Little coffee shop, SHAME ON YOU! How dare you be told by the health department that there is slime in your ice machine and waiting TWO days to clean it AND THEN putting the same ice you took out to clean it back in the ice machine! Shame on you!!!
RE: STOP BUILDING SO MUCH CRAP! Clearly you don't know who actually runs Spokane. Let me adjust my aluminum foil hat as I tell you that nothing changes for the better in Spokane unless the big real estate families say so. I'm talking the families that own the commercial buildings downtown & apartment buildings are pulling the strings.
DON'T MISS YOUR CHANCE: When a business closes down and you find yourself compelled to post a comment along the lines of "That's too bad, I always wanted to go there!," you've got to recognize that that's part of the problem. How many times have you defaulted to the same restaurant not because it's THAT good, but simply because you've been there before? How many times have you opted to buy someone a birthday gift from Amazon instead of visiting one of the many stores in town? Yeah, everything is expensive now, and that very much sucks, but if you're going to spend money, try to think about to whom it is going in the end. Be a little brave, be a little bold, and support the people behind these local businesses. Make it up to the ones you missed out on by visiting a new place this week. You'll probably love it.
POSTERITY: So now what ARE you going to do with all of your "Let's go Brandon" and "FJB" flags, hats, shirts, window stickers, etc.? I have a suggestion; box them up and keep them. Keep them for posterity so your grandkids and great-grandkids will inherit them someday. Wouldn't that be the PERFECT family keepsake to be passed down through the generations? You could even accurately label the box "FJB" (spelled out in the full words, of course) so when you present it to your smiling grandkids, they will regard you with adoring eyes for the insightful contribution to your family's heritage. With this gift, untold generations of your progeny can have pride swell in their hearts when they learn of the hard sacrifices you had to make in order to "Make America Great Again."
GOD AWFUL MUSIC: Jeers to STA for the the overtly Christian music blaring in the restrooms at the Bus Plaza downtown. It plays everywhere in the Plaza, but it's particularly loud in the restrooms. I don't know who picks the music, but I doubt they would ever play any other type of religious music.
CIVIC THEATRE BEHAVIOR SUCKS: Heathers is playing currently and it was a complete hit!!! The performances were excellent and the story line was great! The audience was far less than respectful however. The man behind us was screaming at the top of his lungs after every scene - and I do mean screaming! People around us were plugging their ears every time he started up. The mother and daughter to the right of us spilled tea and coffee, and threw the containers on the floor and left. The puddle was large enough to wet our shoes as we walked through to get out of the isle. If this is the way people are going to behave, I am thinking that we need ushers to lead people out for the comfort of others.
RE: LIBRARY PROTESTERS: A book with such hits as "getting our dad drunk to s.a. him," or "I slept with my dad's concubine," or how about "the king is a ho." Yeah, the Bible only has a ton more incidents that are sexualized-really great stuff. Anyway, keep that out of kids' hands, or let them read revelations and they'll realize the orange antichrist is upon us..duh duh duuuuhhhh!
WHAT A WASTE OF WATER... Hey businesses and organizations along the Centennial Trail / Riverfront park. Your sprinklers are wasting a HUGE amount of water every single day. Spraying sidewalks, running at 10 am-12 pm, creating puddles in the grass and over spraying is just insane. Check your systems and be better stewards please!
RE: LIFE ALTERING BROWNIE: Shame on the Inlander editors for including what read like a blatant ad for a restaurant cooked up by the owner. And even if this submission was legit, it doesn't belong in your paper in the "Cheers" section. This is supposed to be a column where people share stories of random acts of kindness, extraordinary moments, not what someone ate and enjoyed. Big deal. Hardly measures up to something newsworthy or even interesting. Send these types of over-hyped, sickly sweet, vapid reviews to Yelp. ♦
