I SAW YOU
JEERS TO LONG DRIVES: To build a relationship is to build a kingdom. And, at first, it's a wild, thrilling frontier. Every question uncovers new sights. Every conversation is an act of exploration. Every date is an expedition. You two grab your machetes and plop on your pith helmets and set out onto an expedition to map this new land. You're driven positively giddy by the delight of the new.SHOULDA SAID HI: Shoulda said Hi! Sept. 1st, downtown Spokane, O'Doherty's Irish Grille, we were on the patio, you at the NE end table. Across the street from Riverfront Park. It happened to be Pig Out in the Park time. You were dining with two elderly people who both had walkers. I was dining with a lady "friend." About 2:30-4. You caught my eye! You were wearing a knee-high, lighter-colored dress, sandals (I think). Your hair was short and grey. You looked great. You carried yourself well. I am intrigued to say the least. I wanted to say hi and slip you a note. But... It sounded like they called you, perhaps visiting, and you made a special trip to join them for lunch. I'd like to say, "Hi", and go from there. pnwgrowers@gmail.com
HOT FIREMEN: I was returning to work from lunch and had to stop because there was a fire truck on 18th Avenue along with an ambulance. As I was waiting, a fireman ran to the side of the firetruck and started taking off his clothes, all the way to his underwear and dawning on his fire suit. I was in a trance watching. I didn't want to watch, but I couldn't help myself. As I'm watching this, two more firemen run to the truck and start doing the same thing, undressing right in front of me and donning on their fire outfits. The whole thing lasted maybe three minutes, but I got the show of a lifetime. Thank You, Firemen. Thank You, thank you, thank you.
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN: Even when your courage has a touch of foolhardiness, even when your quest for adventure makes you a bit reckless, you can be resourceful enough to avoid dicey consequences. Maybe more than any other sign of the zodiac, you periodically outfox karma. But in the coming weeks, I will nevertheless counsel you not to barge into situations where rash boldness might lead to wrong moves. Please do not flirt with escapades that could turn into chancy gambles. At least for the foreseeable future, I hope you will be prudent and cagey in your quest for interesting and educational fun.
CHEERS
SHOUT-OUT FOR WELL BALANCE: Thanks to you, to date more than 500 older adults in this area have taken steps to prevent falls and their consequences! While falls are the leading cause of injuries for adults ages 65 and older, falling is NOT a normal part of aging and most falls can be prevented. A Matter of Balance, a free program older adults can attend to empower themselves to reduce falling risks and increase their activity levels, relies on volunteer coaches and guest health care professionals to encourage participants to start where they are and do what they can to identify and eliminate falling hazards and be safely involved in activities they enjoy. Cheers to Aging & Long Term Care of E. WA for offering this program in its five-county service area! For information about this program, please call 509-458-2509 or email action@altcew.org.
THANKS, CITY/COUNTY WORKER: To the city/county employee who cut the tree branches by the Upriver Dam around Sept. 7th, thank you, makes it so I don't have to duck as I go through on my e-scooter.
JEERS
REALLY PUBLIC EMPLOYEE NEPOTISM: Now the educational demographic most likely to not buy in to the value of learning, get a hoax. No formal educational background, an emergency valid teaching license, no animation software expertise, and the only reason he was selected was due to exploitation of a legacy system of hiring. His aunt feels he is a good fit, not the other thousands of educators in the nation who would relish the opportunity. Same old, same old still holds, not what you know...
MCMORRIS ROGERS: To Cathy for the enormously misleading advertising. Spending? Nobody has added to the debt more than Republicans in the last 70 years. #1 R. Reagan and #2 George W. Bush. Energy dependence? We don't rely on any energy from Russia or China. Not sure we ever have. Inflation? Nothing to do with politics. Geez, what a load of crap.
T. SMILEY: OK, you don't want a federal ban on abortion. Well, there never has been. But you do support every state banning it. What a misleading load of crap.
RE: GUY AT 1ST AVE COFFEE SHOP: Wow! The arrogance of the Spokane simpletons is simply amazing. In last week's "Jeers" section was a person (loosely defined) who complained that someone "made" them take their headphones off to ask a "stupid" question about "my tattoos." First, it doesn't sound like anyone "made" you do it. How could they? Second, if you don't want your tattoos to be noticed, what about covering them up? Oh wait... how silly. People ONLY get tattoos for themselves rather than for people to notice. It seems like more and more appearance and demeanor seem to say "look at me. Notice me." This is true even when people have very poor tattoos designed by very poor artists (very common). You're fortunate that anyone has any interest in you at all. Wait until you're the same age as the person you called "weirdo, creepy, d bag." Then nobody will be interested in you (especially with the old looking silly tattoos). What comes around goes around. Just wait. Duh! Duh! Dumb!
JEERS TO LONG DRIVES: A long drive is a dangerous thing. Especially if you're driving alone. You know, of course, that with a little inattention or distraction you could veer off a guardrail, merge into the path of a logging truck, or spin on black ice toward a charter bus. But that's not the type of danger I'm talking about. I'm not talking about becoming a flaming wreck on the side of the freeway. I'm talking about becoming a flaming emotional wreck on the side of the freeway. I'm talking about the chance that, in the gap between getting behind the wheel at noon and finally turning off the ignition at 5, you become someone else. Your journey isn't just physical. It's psychic. There are few distinct stretches of time more transformative than five hours stuck alone in your car on the road. And that's what makes it so exhausting.
RE:RE HAVE RESPECT: To the classy individual who is new to Spokane and was offended by the moronic and cacophonous behavior of uncivilized mouth breathers at the Spokane Symphony at Comstock Park, I want to compliment you on your unabashed smugness. Our great city of Spokane has been lacking smugness, and we owe it to bougie sophisticates like you to class up this town filled with idiot native crybabies who complain about Spokane turning into another metropolitan nightmare. I'm so sorry you were inconvenienced while trying to listen to the Spokane Symphony at a popular park that children and their families go to. How rude of them, you have every right to be offended by this classless behavior. Please teach us your smug ways, so that we can learn to enjoy the smell of our own farts too. ♦
