It's All in a Name

Hoopfest squads call themselves the darndest things

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Jim Campbell Illustration

Hoopfest’s tradtion of goofy team names could result in an Angry Nirds vs. Blue Prancing Ninjas matchup.

The object of Hoopfest, of course, is to win games. Well, and to have fun, too. But there’s a secondary, less-discussed contest underway and that’s the battle to have the most creative (or funniest, grossest, most macho) team name in the field.

We’ve gone through the more than 7,000 teams entered in this year’s tournament and handpicked a few of the more amusing titles and handed out some not-soofficial awards to those who went the extra mile. If your squad is not on the list, we’re sorry. You’ll have to turn your attention to the actual basketball.

BY THE NUMBERS

In 1990, there were only 512 teams, equal to 2,009 players.

More than 7,000 teams and 28,000 players are playing this year.

42 city blocks cover this year's various 3-on-3 games.

Hoopfest will bring roughly $38 Million into Spokane.

Organizing these basketball battles are 3,000 volunteers.

- Kara Stermer

Best Potential Matchup
This Better Be Fun vs This is Not for Fun

Best Emo Band Name
Tears of a Gypsy

Best Beverage Suggestion
Beer Flavor Gatorade

Best Display of Immaturity
Watch R Balls Bounce

Best Gangster-Derived Name
Ankle Bustas or Arthritic Mafia