It's the most Satanic time of the year! Yes, Halloween has been assimilated into the mainstream as a holiday equal to Christmas, Thanksgiving, and 4/20, but some of us remember when it was all about The Devil. In that spirit, I've conjured up a few deep cuts from the Satanic Panic film genre, which made a creepy comeback this summer with Longlegs (which you can still see in a theater, if you're into that).
WE SUMMON THE DARKNESS (2019)
In 1988, three young girls (Alexandra Daddario, Maddie Hasson and Amy Forsyth) rock out at a heavy metal concert as news of Satanic murders spreads. After the show, the trio invites three metalhead dudes to party at a remote mansion, where things go sideways and bloody. It's revealed that the girls are part of the Manson-lite Daughters of the Dawn cult, and the unwitting boys are sacrificial dead meat. We Summon the Darkness is hella fun. Streaming: Peacock, Prime Video, Tubi
SATANIC PANIC (2019)
Her first night as a pizza delivery driver isn't going great for Sam (Hayley Griffith), and it's about to get worse when she stumbles across a suburban Satanic coven. They need a virgin womb to birth the demon Baphomet, and Sam fits the unfortunate bill. BTW, Satanic Panic is a comedy, as evidenced by an over-the-top Rebecca Romijn as the coven's leader and a slimy, soul-patched Jerry O'Connell as her cuckold husband. It's hilarious trash with a twist ending that's wonderfully weird. Streaming: AMC+
STARRY EYES (2014)
Aspiring actress Sarah (Alexandra Essoe) will do anything to land a movie role, including being transformed into a demon by a cult-associated production company. Finally, proof that Hollywood is evil! Starry Eyes is a mind-bending ride with grotesque surprises around every corner, like Requiem for a Dream with a subtle showbiz satire agenda. Even more obscure, the deity worshiped by the cult is Astraeus, the mythological Greek "God of the Dusk." Ooo, scary! Streaming: Peacock, Pluto TV, Tubi
LORDS OF SALEM (2013)
Lords of Salem was written and directed by Rob Zombie, and stars his wife, Sherri Moon Zombie. If that didn't send you screaming away, Lords of Salem is probably for you. When radio DJ Heidi (Moon Zombie) receives a record from The Lords, she plays it and suddenly has violent visions of Salem's witchy past. Her nightmares climax at a Lords concert/Satanic ritual where she gives birth to a demon catfish atop a pile of dead, naked women. So, subtle for Rob. Streaming: Prime Video, Pluto TV, Tubi
HOUSE OF THE DEVIL (2009)
Years before his acclaimed X/Pearl/MaXXXine trilogy, Ti West wrote and directed House of the Devil, a taut slasher flick set in the '80s, ground zero for Satanic Panic. Broke college student Sam (Jocelin Donahue) accepts a babysitting job at a remote mansion, only to find out that she'll actually be caring for an elderly woman. One drugged pizza later (mmm, drugged pizza), Sam wakes up as the star of an occult ritual. A slow burn, but worth the wait. Streaming: Peacock, Prime Video, Tubi
TRICK OR TREAT (1986)
When high-school outcast Eddie (Marc Price of Family Ties!) and radio DJ Nuke (Gene Simmons of Kiss!) play the final album of dead rock star Sammi (Tony Fields of ... A Chorus Line?) backwards, he comes back to hellfire-powered life. Not only does the campy Trick or Treat have some of the gnarliest death-by-guitar scenes since Slumber Party Massacre II, it also features the greatest metal album title ever: Songs in the Key of Death. Also: Ozzy Osbourne as a televangelist. Streaming: Screambox
THE DEVIL'S RAIN (1975)
The most evil aspect of The Devil's Rain is that it's the movie that turned a young John Travolta into a Scientologist. Steve Preston's (George Sawaya) wife (Ida Lupino) and son (William Shatner) have been abducted by a Satanic cult led by John Corbis (Ernest Borgnine), leading to many scenes with Shatner and Borgnine Acting! As! Hard! As! They! Can! against each other. As for Travolta, he has zero lines, but he is melted by Satan Juice. Scientology was inevitable. Streaming: AMC+, Pluto TV, Tubi ♦
