It's a calm fall afternoon as my two companions and I begin our trek through Neverwinter Wood.
We're on the way to Phalandin, but soon find ourselves stuck when two dead horses block our path. As we begin to investigate the scene, we realize almost immediately that it's a trap.
"You step on a branch and hear a loud crrrraacckk alerting the goblins waiting on either side of the road," says Camie Anderson, our dungeon master. "You're surrounded."
To the north are four small goblins equipped with bows and arrows. To the south, three more, including a very large one. Though I speak the goblins' native tongue (mostly thanks to my years of hunting the creatures down), I'm unable to communicate with them through their bloodlust.
"You have food, you have cart — there might be gold in there!" Anderson says in a shrill voice imitating what goblins may sound like.
At this point, it's fight or be plundered.
Luckily, our party is composed of the coolest characters in all of Faerûn. I'm a Drow (dark elf) ranger named Fred Jones who's just as proficient at dual-wielding a pair of shortswords as I am at sharpshooting from my longbow. I'm joined by an Elven wizard who can burn her enemies to a crisp with a simple fireball spell, and a 3-foot-tall Forest Gnome bard who can convince the forest creatures to do her bidding.
The three of us, all actually humans in Spokane, begin the battle by rolling our 20-sided die — d20 for short — in the newly opened basement area (an apt place to play Dungeons & Dragons) of Sage's Portal, a game shop in the East Central area. The characters we're role-playing each have a set of unique skills and proficiencies, but how they use those abilities is fully our call.
"Anybody can play D&D and enjoy it, as long as they're willing to put aside that sense of seriousness and they're willing to be a little silly," Anderson says. "We're literally just sitting around rolling dice and telling a story — I mean ultimately it's this really cool form of collaborative storytelling, right?"
Three sparkly acrylic d20 clatter across the sturdy wooden table determining our turn order. Anderson rolls a fourth die secretly to determine when the goblins can attack us. It must've been a high roll, as all seven goblins swarm before I can move, even though I roll a 16 for what's called the initiative roll.
As our party begins to fight back the goblin ambush, we each utilize our unique equipment and abilities in battle. For example, since I have two shortswords, I attack a goblin twice on my first turn, leaving it in ribbons at my feet. My Forest Gnome companion, Tulsi Pigroot, is able to communicate with small beasts so she persuades the surrounding squirrels to hurl things at the goblins as a distraction.
It works. When three goblins north of us are paying attention to the squirrels, we have just enough time to fight back our biggest foe. It takes a few separate attacks, but finally, hiding behind the ox cart, I nock back an arrow and hope to deliver the final blow.
"Where would you like to aim at?" Anderson asks me.
"Right between its eyes," I respond smugly.
"OK, roll for damage," she says.
I roll a five, adding to my +7 attack bonus and +5 weapon bonus, for a total of 17 damage points. And just like that, my arrow flies directly into the center of the creature's skull, knocking out the biggest threat to our party's safety.
Over the next hour, we finish off the other goblins, leaving one alive out of pity. I'm able to reason with the outnumbered final enemy and, in exchange for the rations I'm carrying, the goblin, whose name is Boots, joins our party.
Before embarking on this campaign, my only experience with Dungeons & Dragons was watching parts of the Dungeons and Drag Queens campaign, hosted by notable DM Brennan Lee Mulligan. I understood there's a mix of combat and storytelling scenes, but I didn't quite realize how fun it would be to make my own choices within that world alongside other people.
For example, before we're ambushed, our bard Tulsi climbs atop the oxen carrying our cart and plays a lovely little tune as we walk. As silly as it sounds, the option to do basically anything creates an atmosphere of fun and whimsy that I never expected.
Anderson began playing D&D in 2017 and a short six months later also started leading her own games for others as a DM. She's been part of countless campaigns since, working as a masterful storyteller for her friends, longtime players and even newbies seeking safe entry into the mystical realms.
Each month, she hosts this Intro to D&D campaign at Sage's Portal, bringing up to six players through the first campaign of the game's fifth edition, a quest called "Lost Mine of Phandelver." The campaign, she says, is meant to be a fun entrance to the world of D&D without being too overwhelming for new players.
Everyone plays the game differently, so although we only make it past the first goblin ambush in our allotted three hours, Anderson says some groups advance to the second part of the four-part quest. On the flipside, she says other adventurers fail to even make it past the goblins. In one case, a player's character actually died even though the rest of their party had healing potions available.
"There isn't a right or wrong way to play D&D, and that's one of the cool things about it," Anderson says. "I mean, you guys practically kidnapped Boots."
For anyone thinking about trying out D&D, these introductory campaigns can be vital. Without Anderson's careful guidance, I don't think I could have parsed the lengthy character sheet in front of me dictating what I can do as this particular dark elf or even figured out how to read my d4 dice.
Sage's Portal's monthly newbie campaign is always held on a Saturday. The entry fee is $20, which includes a set of acrylic dice to take home for future adventures.
"The whole point of doing this is to have fun and to bring that little bit of joy to people," Anderson says. "I strive to bring a little bit of light and happiness to my players' lives even in these introductory campaigns. Sometimes there's bad things that happen, but in the end, there's going to be a happy ending. It's not a good escape for folks if it ends in tragedy."
And in my opinion, that's just what we got from our helpful DM. Making a new goblin friend named Boots was certainly my happy ending. I wonder what he's doing right now...♦
