When it comes to finding entertaining things to do this summer, you don't need to reinvent the wheel. The good news is they already invented that, either in 3,500 B.C. in Mesopotamia or by the 4th century B.C. in Greece, depending on whether you include pottery wheels in that definition. We're feeling generous, so we'll award it to the Mesopotamians. Celebrate wheels this summer — from the ones on the bus that go 'round and round, to the one in the sky that keeps on turning — by taking part in all of sorts of wheeled activities, from bikes to cars to electric scooters.
DRIVE YOUR NON-CLASSIC CAR TO CAR D'ALENE
While I'm not a big car fan, I am a big fan of city-name-based wordplay. And "Car d'Alene" deserves to be elevated to the pantheon with "SpoCannibas" and "Spokandy" of local wordplay examples. Come to downtown Coeur d'Alene on Friday, June 17, 6-9 pm, to watch a bunch of cool cars cruise in a loop along Lakeside from Eighth Street, then Fourth to Wallace to Second Street, and finally east along Sherman. The show itself is Saturday, June 18, from 8-4 pm at the Coeur d'Alene Downtown Association parking lot at 105 N. First St. If you're lucky, you'll even be able to listen to one of those car horns that go "ahooga ahooga!" You know the ones I mean. Visit cdadowntown.com for more info.
DEFY THE OBSOLETE COVID SIGNS ON YOUR LIME SCOOTER
Two years later, our community is still filled with the detritus of the early days of COVID, when the virus was still a scary mystery. So you'll still see signs warning that riders of Lime scooters should stay 6 feet apart, "wipe shared surfaces," "use a mask and gloves," "wash hands before and after riding," and "use only for essential travel." Now, of course, we know that COVID doesn't spread on surfaces and that riding a scooter or bike outdoors in the open air is one of the safest ways to get anywhere (when it comes to COVID, at least). But if you want the rebellious anti-government thrill of being a COVID-science denier, without actually denying any of the (current) COVID science, this is your best opportunity to do so.
You probably should still wash your hands after using the bathroom, but we're not going to be a narc or anything. We can keep your dirty little secret.
PEDAL WITHOUT BEING SQUISHED AT SUMMER PARKWAYS
Anyone who bikes to work like me has noticed that, in the last few years, the roads have been dominated by giant pickup trucks, the kind that look like giant earthmovers built to destroy Ferngully's rainforest. Keep your eye glued to the obituary page in the coming months to see if the remnants of my body have made a cameo on one of the truck's grilles.
In the meantime, you and I can feel safe hanging out at Summer Parkways on June 21, from 6-9 pm, where a whole 4-mile route is closed off to cars, allowing cyclists, rollerbladers, roller skaters and unicyclists free rein to rule the streets of the Manito and Comstock neighborhoods on the South Hill before the predators return. Visit summerparkways.com for more.
SPIN THE WHEEL OF ACTIVITIES
The downtown spinner wheel was a bit depressing during COVID, what with so many proposed activities shut down. But such COVID lockdowns seem far in our past — at least at the time of publication. Solve your indecision by grabbing hold of the spinner on the wall at Wall Street near Riverfront Park and giving it a whirl. Maybe you'll land on "Ride the Skyride in Riverfront Park" or "Feed the Garbage Goat at Riverfront Park" or "Explore Mobius Discovery Center." Fortunately, no matter how lucky you get spinning this wheel, there's no "bankrupt" wedge. Nobody wants a repeat of the 2008 Wall Street debacle.
PETTING ZOO ON WHEELS
Everybody loves roller skates. Everybody loves cute animals. On Sunday, July 24, from 1-5 pm, Spokane Valley's Roller Valley roller rink — owned by Ukrainian refugee Zhanna Oberemok — is combining both phenomena, holding a petting zoo at the roller rink to help local animal nonprofits. Tickets are $8 — bring donations like dog food, cat food, bird cages and reptile beddings and you'll get a free cup of petting zoo food. Here we're imagining a llama wearing roller skates, which, if that isn't already in the plan, they should definitely make happen.
ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR WHEEL
So you have an electric unicycle, but nowhere to ride it? Meet up with the "E-Skate Group," a roguish gang of eclectic longboarders, one-wheelers and electric scooter riders who go out for a group ride from the Riverfront Park fountain on Fridays at 6:30 pm and Sundays at 12:30 pm.
"Our rides are usually less than 15 mph, and we do frequent stops to collect stragglers. We usually ride about 7-8 miles, then go out for something to eat, and a charge up. We frequently meet at Gerardo's Authentic Mexican or David's Pizza," group member Christopher McNeal says. "Helmets are encouraged!"
Like I said: rogues. ♦
