You Used Me
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Understanding just hit me like a freight train. For the 2 years that I've struggled to form a meaningful connection with you, for all the months of sleeping together & being evasive & going out with "friends"— I've finally realized that nothing will ever come of it. 3 little words that I always thought were a cliché are now mine to say: You used me. And, sadly, I took it. Because you're glorious & I had the vanity to think I'd be the one to finally earn your trust. The punch line to this two-years-in-the-making joke: I love you. I do. Because I know you, a richly complete human being, amazing & faulty. I see you. I see a man fighting his unfair past & unsure future. A man who moves through the world like a god of creation & destruction, spreading beauty with one hand & devastation with the other. I send a prayer not to you, but to all the ever-hopefuls in your orbit, all the women who never hear no & never hear yes. I can't allow you to waste my time anymore.
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